Like it’s important to maintain fidelity in a relationship, it is also important to maintain fidelity in finances with your spouse.
This Valentine’s Day date, set up a firm foundation for a happy life together by making money conversations a part of your couple goals
Like it’s important to maintain fidelity in a relationship, it is also important to maintain fidelity in finances with your spouse.
Discussing money with your would-be spouse before marriage can be tricky because it means mixing love and practicality. Moreover, it involves two individuals who will soon be merging two financial situations, and two salaries if both partners are working.
Different couples follow different rulebooks when it comes to marriage, and what works for one couple might not work for another. Here are seven things you need to keep in mind to be financially on the same page with your partner before marriage.
There’s no point hiding anything about your finances from your would-be life partner. It’s best to sit down and have a very transparent and open conversation about finances with him/her. You don’t need to rush it either. Do things at your own pace and have the discussion in a relaxed manner. “It’s better to be transparent on money matters, especially the big ones, so that it does not become a bone of contention later,” says Anant Ladha, founder, Invest Aaj For Kal, a financial planning firm.
While it’s true that everything about two lives merges in marriage, this is not always the best option with bank accounts. For one, keeping separate bank accounts helps in identifying incomes for the purpose of filing tax returns. The other spouse can be a second holder in the bank accounts as well as all investments. In terms of expenses and making investments, too, the couple can “contribute in the same proportion as one’s income, to ensure equity,” says Ladha.
If you have an obligation to, say, pay for someone’s education in the family, or sponsor somebody’s wedding, you should clearly share this with your would-be-spouse. If you want to or need to financially support a sibling or your parents, you should discuss this too. While sharing the list of responsibilities, do include the topic of debt because the credit burden has to be shed responsibly, and any money outgo in this direction is bound to affect the overall finances.
Even before your marriage, when you are getting to know each other, observe your partner’s money habits. You can learn a lot simply by watching your partner’s money management and behaviour, and then discuss certain things that strike you as good or bad, such as credit card usage or smart spending.
It’s important to take things seriously, but not too seriously, as that could spoil the fun in the relationship. In case of money matters too, be curious about your partner’s money habits and beliefs, but remember that their experiences are solely theirs and there is much to learn and share as you build your lives together.
If you have the time, you could both sit down and chart out a budget for your post-marriage plans so that each of you can contribute equally into everything. If you have your finances planned out, you might be able to achieve a lot more than what you had dreamed of.
Talk about your main money goals because most of them will need planning and substantial investments. If needed, you could seek out the help of a financial advisor to guide you on your investments and savings. “It’s usually great when both partners are involved in financial planning when they want to get married, as that would ensure a smooth journey post-marriage, financially,” adds Ladha.
It is true that talking about money can sometimes seem like treading into an uncomfortable terrain. But doing this could mean you both get comfortable with each other’s approach towards money, and set a firm financial foundation for your married life. It may well be a step towards honest conversation in other aspects of this long-term partnership.